So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
