just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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