those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I hope mine doesn't look like that
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
