I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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