I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
