I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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