just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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