Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
