All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
