k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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