i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
