how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
