This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's blow job season.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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