I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
