You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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