Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
