i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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