talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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