I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
