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that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
