what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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