We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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