i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
