Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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