need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
