Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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