i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
