There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
