its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am available for nakedness
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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