wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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