So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
