Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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