i don't like sucking hair
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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