i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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