im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have feelings that need drinking.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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