I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
