she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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