and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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