i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
