i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
