i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
