Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
