Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
