First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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