thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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