She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
