so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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