Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
