And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We named our party play list daddy issues
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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