i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
