I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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