you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
