bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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