dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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