OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize