I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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