Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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