I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
