i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
